Saturday, May 25, 2013

Catching up...since life is a race (We were down, but not out)

I alluded to my baby girl last post. Since the birth story post quite a bit has occurred. So here's a brief over view in chronological order. October after the Boss, as we call Israel, was born I realized a financial low, I went from a pretty decent income to nothing, for me it was hard to have to depend on my husband for money. What a lesson in humility that was. I had been the higher wage earner for a while and even when I wasn't I still had income. I had failed to plan for the loss of income and therefore was forced to find a job which I did fairly quickly too. Considering the state of the country, I was blessed to begin work from home with a reputable company. That was an interesting experience, however the hours were limiting me from enjoying my family.
The end of 2011 was the beginning of a rough year for us. My husband was involved in a fatal accident. He had gone in the middle of the week to take his niece home, to Georgia. He had driven all the way there and was less than 40 minutes from home and had somehow side swiped a vehicle that was pulled over on the side of the road. It was extremely foggy that morning I remember because I had to pack up the kids to pick him up. That night and morning for me was very uncomfortable. I had spoken with him after he arrived nearby her home. I wanted him to get right back on the road and come home, however he wanted to take a quick nap, something I didn't think would be the best but I obliged and just told him to be careful. I don't remember now if I spoke with him before he got on the road, but what is etched in my mind is awakening realizing he wasn't home and while the news was on hearing there was an accident on I-4. I thought, well Glen should be at work based on the time he told me he was leaving. I nursed the Boss, and fell back asleep for a few minutes, and was awakened by the phone. I thought it must be him telling me he was at work, boy was I wrong. It was him, but he was not at work, he called and said he was in an accident. Being half sleep, I still thought he's fooling with me, but after my mind caught up with me. I could hear the fear and panic in his voice. I also could hear a woman in the background screaming. I knew at that point this was not a dream it was a nightmare, in living color. He kept saying, "I think he's dead, Keturah, I think he's gone." I tried to comfort him, he was certain that things would not be okay. The tone of his voice scared me. I had never heard my husband so fearful and have only seen him really cry a handful of times. I packed up our children all 4 of them, hopped onto the fog-filled highway to find my husband. I didn't know what to expect, so I prepared my babies for what they may see and what may happen with their dad. We feared jail time, but most of all was the fear of the loss of life or limb.
My husband was not taken to jail, but did have to go to court regarding the situation about 6 months later. It was as if we finally were getting back to a routine and bam then we got notice of the court date. Shortly before the court date the kids and I drove back home to NJ to be apart of my mother's wedding. It was fun to get to drive up the east coast with all of them. My oldest was definitely my copilot. We stopped in DC, not intentionally, but saw the white house. The wedding was beautiful, and everyone looked amazing. It was a great trip. The kids and I then stopped in NC for a short time to visit with family and take a break from driving. It was a much needed visit with family.
About a month from returning from NJ, my husband lost his job. With him being the main wage earner, our life got tough real quick. We struggled to pay our rent, and bills, but by the GRACE of GOD, we received a lump some of money that helped. It was a long 3 months of him being out of work, the kids were home on summer break, and we were pregnant. Yes, that's what I said, we found out about a month after he lost his job that we were expecting a baby.
The court date was set for some time in July, but I had to work and look after the kids, so the husbandman went on his own. He was able to meet with the deceased man, Adam's family. This for my husband was the hardest but best thing that happened. We forged a new extended family, and, although we haven't done a very good job of it, we plan to keep in touch with his lovely mother and brother. He was able to express his sorrow and sympathy for what happened. He had no ill intent, and was not be reckless, he never is when it comes to driving long distances. But they saw that he was remorseful and was appreciative of him owning his error. It was a terrible accident that will live with us forever. But once again, because of God's love for his children, we made it through.
The last few months of the year would prove to be the hardest, with the lump some of money dwindling and Glen finding a part time job and me, changing jobs to substituting part time, we struggled to the point of having to request the help of our church. This would help us get a leg up and give us the time we needed to recoup. With birthday's in November and December and then Christmas right around the corner, it seemed impossible to find our way out of the hole we were in. But GOD. Our church family strengthened and up lifted us even after assisting financially in October. We were blessed with dinner and gifts for all of us by our church family for Christmas.
I was emotionally drained, I wanted to be happy for our pregnancy, but with so many negatives around it was easier to just not draw any emotions about it. It was an emotional pregnancy, many of them are, but I kept it under wraps quite literally. I didn't share with many people, but the kids in the schools made me laugh. They would whisper and then finally one brave, or daring child would say, "Mrs. Ross are you pregnant?" I'd always answer and what happens if I say no. They seemed to love that I was pregnant, and loved baby girls name, which was inspired by an army men of David, in the Bible. Ilai, was one of David's men. The name means, exalted. I just took of the ending "I" to name her ILA, pronounced ee-lah. And finally deciding that it would be her name was tough. I was extremely undecided since I know people WILL pronounce it wrong. I don't want her to struggle with such an easy name. Its origin is of another language so she will inevitably have issues with her name.
Fast forward to March her estimated due date was 3/11/13. I knew she'd come early but was kinda hoping it would be 3/3 when that didn't happen I decided I'd work one last day on 3/8 at my oldest child's middle school, that night I came home and walked a few times around the block and by the next morning I could tell I was in labor. You can check out her birth story in the coming post. But she made it here and was healthy and smaller than the babies, I'd previously had. I think because of our financial issues, I neglected myself a bit, but also it forced me to eat less. It made me more cautious of what I ate because we struggled to put food on the table so I wasn't going to eat a whole bunch of junk. Ha, I couldn't.  She was born  March 9, 2013. More on her a little later though.
Currently, I have gone back to substituting although, only a few days a week, and the most exciting part about life is I am now a Pampered Chef Consultant. I was looking for an opportunity to build my own business and this one came up. I wanted to order things but then thought, hey wait, I could do this. So here I am only a couple short weeks in and loving every bit of this challenge, that God placed before me to succeed in.
Whew, I caught yall up on 2 years of my life in a few short paragraphs. Come back, as I fill in the rest of spaces, and keep up with my life and new found career.

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